To know where and when to get married
Although loving someone and having the seemingly perfect relationship both probably sound like enough for you to rush to the altar, getting married requires more than just love.For many, there are some signs that let you truly know it’s time to say “I do” and cross the threshold into an eternity together.The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least, have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another,” he told INSIDER. “Marriage is a lifestyle choice, not a requirement.”
Though many people may fantasize about getting married when they’re kids, Darné told INSIDER that anyone who says they’re ready to get married and isn’t even in a relationship is only chasing after marital status.”Whoever you’re with should be the catalyst or the reason why you are suddenly having thoughts about marriage,” he said. “In other words, this person met the requirements of your must-haves list and successfully cleared the milestones in your mate selection process. Compatibility trumps compromise. Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!”It’s better to let your relationship evolve naturally into thoughts of marriage than to pursue every relationship with marriage in mind.Does your partner seem to do everything perfectly? Are they always in agreement with you or seem to compromise with everything you say? According to Darné, that’s not always a good thing.”One of the biggest mistakes anyone can make is becoming engaged or married to someone they really don’t know,” he told INSIDER. “It’s important not to make any lifetime decisions while you’re still in the “infatuation phase” or early on during a new courtship. It’s almost a cliché to hear someone say: ‘He/she is not the same person I fell in love with.’ It takes time to truly get to know someone! There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept themas is or move on. The choice is up to you.”Realizing that your spouse is not perfect, but deciding to love them anyway is a clear indicator that a great marriage can be in your futureRegardless of the infatuation, you may have with your partner, if you’re trying to save them from their own issues including debt, drug/alcohol addiction, legal problems, or even their crazy exes, you shouldn’t be thinking about marriage.”Life is too short to be taking on projects or trying to change water into wine. The goal is to find someone who already is what you want in a mate,” Darné told INSIDER. “Too often when it comes to matters of the heart people are quick to dismiss practicality. They believe things will simply work out eventually. Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart. Suffering is optional.”Instead of romanticizing obstacles or challenges and turning a drama-filled relationship into a marriage, find someone that can give you the things you actually want and need without changing them.